Well, this is the chance of finally getting the chance to solve the down there, but work did intervene, it does show that I don't get the chance to get the pan to sort out a big challenge in the future, but it shows some of the way how it goes with the boners on the actually really hectic summer.
The Chart:
first I'll just embed the chart for you to have a look at it, and see what the average is as well as the count of each day. But there are dates which give some indication which I'll sort of quickly analyse for you.
The Key points from that:
Now this actually is a lot less than I would expect but also with a lot of stress and anxiety I've had to endure it can also make some of the sense of why its been lower, plus actually counting inc the weekends its only been 5 days which I've not been in the shop, That is a BUSY summer but it has been include the catch-up from the vaccine, the renovation and also more catching up with customer demands too.
The first week was from the vaccine week so minus the anxiety the boners where higher than normal, but it was shown on the Thursday which was the house to myself while editing the vlog for the vaccination, and the distractions do come and go. Which explains how I got the 11 boners in that day.
Now the 2 weeks after that, was actually lower than other weeks, this was due to working every day and even not being able to go to the toilet during that time, Okay i did drink less that time as well since for the past month, the issue with the vitamin C tablets or any strong flavored drinks is that it made my tummy feel funny, but only in the morning, in the afternoon, it did help out and I could drink it without feeling funny after, this has been only for the past 2 to 3 months I will admit.
There have been moments o feeling a bit unsure about some things when either crashing out at night or having to get up earlier for work and being unable to well fap. But as time was easing off work and getting like more time for admin and things, it was nice to feel comfortable and that well can mean a higher count.
But as it was the last 9 days, the count was higher since it was more time to myself and well more ideas in one way or another, there were more breaks So i could look at FF and curvage and also texting with hearing of going to restaurants and food halls I miss a fair bit.
Alll in all it shows how time progresses and also how actually its still about the same as 2017 which even 4 years ago was the last time I kissed a girl on the lips. Yes there was the last kiss on the cheek was May 2019 so it was not that far away from my last kiss until now, (2 years is better than i expected especially during a pandemic, but if i see things being busy, it might be 3 years away too).
Now maybe things will perk up in future but with s fair bit of focusing coming up, it will probably be less but its been a fair bit of time and things have changed in many ways in some good and bad but especially as I was very close to finally sorting out the phmiosis in one way that did not happen but There is the plan to sort it when the time is right or worst case just having to be selfish and take it off time wise for fixing it.
But while we are on the topic of analyzing, it should be a re-cap of the well Not new year resolutions, since the new year is now 4 months away.
A Catch up on the Year Resolutions:
Well, to be honest, it seems I've been pushing them aside, like time has past, lockdown have come and gone and that in itself have made it tricky to follow them inits glory or negativity. But here is the run down.
Stream more -Not don't ANY since Feb
Catch up with the accounts in work - I Thought I was doing, well, but it a fair bit off yet,
Be able to hug someone non work or family related - Looking like next year
Complete at least 2 games in a story mode - No luck at all
Do more Day out vlogs - Not yet for me either, It might be close and easier with the E-bike in all honesty, but the shop is taking intensive time out of me
Schedule/plan out days more - Not working at all for the most part, there is a unpredictable side to it which makes it tough for me to catch this goal
The Conclusion
But there we have it, its now the last 3.9 months of the year, with events coming back in, vlogs might happen again and now firm to take that time, off, yes, at some points its the second jab to decide on but that chest pain did worry me so I will have to mention it but Home Park is too much pressure for me I thin, ,especially as it was the week of goose fair was the earliest appointment, But i will still think on it for me and maybe its better to wait for the Pharmacy to do it, But by the time it comes November, the time will be too busy with Christmas, unless a lockdown is planed which there is always the risk going to happen.
But 2 weeks to film some vlogs and a all nighters planned or 3 to catch up with online work for the money saving up since of big expenses at the end of the year and also maybe a Trip away next year too
Well this moment was the scary part, finally time to see how it copes with me, I've been dreading this for the past week at least and also this was close to the only week to get it booked up, Since of all the other times I've mentioned being too busy for it to work out in the end. But this is a tale of how my worries about what this can cause and see if it makes me feel shit or not for the later on. There is a big trigger warning of how some of this sounds like Anti Vax talk if that offends. The vlog on how i feel is below:
The preparation and worries before.
So, this is where we begin, actually back in Early July to be honest, which was when it was pouring with rain and my dad was starting to put pressure on me to get it booked even when I did plan to get the jab on the first week of august which if i left it to booking was going to be the middle of nowhere near Exeter . Which after phone calls and the online booking form, it turned out i had to book it 2 weeks before this week and then had to cancel that like the day after booking since Plympton is too far, even if getting a lift in, especially with this rush on booking it. But as it got closer to the time, i was getting visions of backing out last minute and also worried I would wake up in hospital after passing out or some side effect such as fainting or major headaches. But that was what could have been, will be found out.
When it comes to last week, there was alot of things missed out and even with a family meal on the Friday before. But long days also mean its has to be late meals, this was also pushing the delay for the online work and that means trying some food out. Which this meal, was even by my standards actually too spicy to me. Well the hot curry powder coated curly fries was too much, even with mayo to cool it down.
The very spicy meal
Then it was nearing the end of the week and there was £50 for paying towards a jacket for Dad's birthday. And also a visit to the Blacksmiths arms being the nice thing in the evening but it shows how it gets a bit anxious on deciding what to have with this as well. In then end, it was for breaded mackerel and also a orange tart after.
The view from the car park
The apple mango j20 and the box of Dad's jacket
The main course
The orange tart
That caused a bit of delay and time to can work for the Sunday, Which I could have spent with Family but since waking up to actually get the money in for the next week or two since of losing money for the vaccine as well. Plus a friend I was planning on meeting was actually asking for £50 and was meant to pay back in 3 days time so maybe to get paid back by Wednesday this week.
But then it was the Monday, with the last day of being in the shop until Friday. Which first was actually going to be the chance to get some bills paid and also get one customer to see which I've not been able to see the week before since they were unable to walk either, but she was feeling much better. But after that visit , it was a 30 minutes, yes that quick, but then it was one phone call to deal with before I headed off to pay money in and try to go to the GP to see if that can be sorted out.
So After paying in, I cycled to the Surgery and went in to ask, it turns out
They are no longer offering First jabs and even the second jabs are booked for august (Despite insisting on it when seeing them on the day vaccines were announced and later on)
Closest they can offer is call 119 or Drop in via Home Park
So that meant for me it had to be going to the Pharmacy opposite the surgery which then they were even not being able to offer the vaccine until any point since of the training, so they even suggested Home Park or 119 to call.
So then it was time to go to cycle to the other surgery and then it made a bit more sense to see if they could do anything, but again they could not, BUT they were much more helpful. By around 3:30pm after asking all 3 places, I cycled my way home and then it was time to get Rosie walked again.
Then it was to spend the evening working and also worrying about the events to unfold which i was having dreams of waking up in derriford due to blacking out or even stressing out and walking out before having it. My sister made her mind up and was picking me up at 8:30.
Nerves before sleeping the night before
The Day of the Vaccine (Tuesday):
The Anxiety Attack before the Jab
So I got up at half 8, just before, my Nerves are in overdrive and really still feel uncomfortably about this and well my sister came in and I got changed into Jeans and a blue shirt before we drove off,
The traffic was ok but still it's one of those things I really do not feel ready for, she told me how it works but it's that 15 minutes of waiting for it to recover, but we took the time and eventually it was nearing 9:10am and we got there, which for me the nerves were starting to really worry.
Turning in
Now this is where i noticed it, so I was starting to walk but i was feeling shaky in my legs and was going into slow steps, There was no queues at all, i mean more queues for Home Park Stadium tickets more than actually the vaccination itself, The stewards were greeting and asking if it was my jab and my sister said "hes a bit nervous", but then he directed me to the gate to get to this tent which was to get booked in, which then we made our way over and then it got to the tent, it was huge and alot of queuing space, which we were nearly the only ones in there, which scared the shit out of me, but as we walked up to go to wait in a queue of 1 in front of us, It was my turn and I froze, for at least a few minutes, less shaking and my sister did say we can take time, but eventually I walked up and got booked in and they took details and gave me a sheet an then told me to stick to the right as I went in, which means it was for me to have the pfizer, which from the long time ago, I was wanting to stick with but after recent reports, it made me feel a bit less safer.
As I walked slowly to the queue a security guard asked if I was okay and we took time to walk in then as we walked in, we were approached by a nurse who walked us to get to a desk with another nurse but since that other nurse was going to have coffee, the nurse from before ended up speaking to us, and my sister explained I was a bit nervous and she explained about it but I still felt a bit of questions on my mind such as:
Would there be any ingredients that could cause a side effect
The issues with some of the potential side effects
Do i have antibodies already
So some things were being explained and she could tell this was not the best environment for me for this and did offer a private room and or being outside, they did re-mention that all in ICU in derriford are from unvaccinated which yes its true but doesn't make it any less comfortable and valid for the concerns and then we ended up going out side for fresh air and to address some of the concerns and I was starting to feel out of control, Realising the above things and
Will this cause issues with my body if i've been fine for the past 1.5 years
Been pressured to have Vaccine from my dad
When trying to book locally for this date to have it, it was just too much hassle to book to get it locally
Have I really thought most of this through since I haven't from the sounds of it
Why are the Vitamin C tablets I taken most morning recently starting to make me not as 100% but other times they are fine
Then an A&E doctor appeared and try to answer some which pretty much said:
Most in hospital are unvaccinated
No, i do not have antibodies since I have never had covid
We cannot force you to have the vaccine
I was still a bit uneasy and after the doctor went inside, I felt after thinking this through, I didn't and decided I needed to leave, so it was a walk to the car, Now the nurse showed me the best way to leave and also wanted to have my number so she could call me to re-arrange the appointment, but still not being comfortable she had my sisters, number instead and gave their own number to her as well so we can call or arrange for another one. Since of the stress and unable to book it locally, it felt like it was a now or never issue.
So via the back gates, it was time to go to the back to the car to think, Now my sister was offering to get a coffee which I did not feel hungry or thirsty, even with the dry mouth and sore throat. But this was when i was really shouting at myself and worrying about things but my sister did mention things like
It doesn't matter if its local or here, your still nervous about what might happen after
Don't worry about dad, i'll talk to him
You've made it this far
the nurse did offer we could do the medical over the phone
But as we talked it made it seems like I would still panic over it and she then go "lets just go home" which I hesitated and then suggest to go out to get the medical sorted, so we went out of the car, went back to the gates and in the way out we did then waited for the same nurse after calling but went to voicemail and then we went to sit by a bed and she walked about where we lived and all that while that just felt uneasy, it was the only way forward, so after 2 laptops not working, it was time to go through the records and it seems liked it was fine for their side to see on the vaccine and then one more it about the side effects and then she got the vaccine out, after i said yes for it.
But then she talked about TV shows as i felt a price to the side of the left arm, as well as she told me to relax it but its already on high anxiety as it is. But then it was done and the 15 minutes way, by this it was 11:05, so the stress and anxiety attack had taken me nearly 2 hours which did make my sister later for work but if on my own, I would have taken even longer or just had to come back later on, The 15 minute wait was okay but I was noticing a bit of numbness and feeling very slightly weary too, but before she finished, she was suggesting to see if could book the second jab but was shocked about booking , but even with Home park open until December this year for this, i said I'll see how it goes from the effects of this, in the 12 hour after window.
The after effects home
Then we both walked out and got to the car, i was feeling numb and starting to get a bit sleepy in the car drive home, like actually even closing my eyes for some of it, But by about 12pm, we got home and it was me taking it easy for a bit, my sister text mum to say she's was going to be home by 1pm and then see how I feel. I did go for a toilet as well as she did when we both got home and Rosie wanted to play ball outside.
Playing ball as we got home with Rosie
But then it was time for her to leave to go to work and then time for me to walk Rosie to sort her while I was still changed, which my nerves were easing but also was time that I was swaying around since of feeling a mix of drowsy and not so drowsy and the nerves not kicking in since of no immediate reaction, but it was a hard way to keep my eyes open but not as much yawning either.
But then mum and dad were home and we talked, she took an hour off work to see how I'm feeling, which also i was drinking water and also was deciding to have lunch and something liquid and light to see if it could help me, So for that was some tomato soup, with added medium curry powder, chicken stock and then some salad and bits to let it dip in.
The light lunch for that day
Then it was me typing this up for the rest of the day, It was nice to catch up on some kids shows and then actually starting the Olympic Coverage of the Road Race which was actually day 1 of the Olympics funnily enough. But this was just to help me ease it in.
The recovery and relaxing evening
Later on, it was also getting to relax and also another walking with Rosie in the evening with mum, when we both went to the river to give her a cooldown and a walk, whi h we talked but was a bit nervous I was getting flemmy in the nose which made me feel oh fuck here comes the cold but then it was a bath to help ease my relaxation and well unlike the bath on Monday which made me feel like I was and actually i was crying and could not sleep due to worrying. But the Caribbean rice for tea from lidl was lush too.
The salad fried chicken Caribbean rice for tea
A selfie in the bath for after
But then it was finishing the road race partly watching and then crashing out to sleep at midnight since I didn't want to push my body too much for the next day which I was dreading. Since its 12 hours it can take its toll and well if it means crashing out due to a cold, well its a clear sign on choosing the second jab or not. But thats where we get the 1st day of results.
The First full day:
Well actually waking up was with the arm bruised or that heave deadweight feeling of bruise, sure I was actually surprised my body handled it but a little tired is none the less, but it was then waking up with a call from a customer so it means it had to be a booking for that day I go back to working. But after keeping up with the BPD additions and waking up just after 10 am. It was time to get a nice cold fruit smoothie to keep my vitamins up, since the vitamin C tablet on its own in the morning makes me fee a bit ill in that way but only recently that's happened, but aa smoothie condenses that feeling and adds a sour kick in the smoothie too.
Waking up with a selfie
Making the mango, apple, vitamin tablet smoothie
But it was then to get ready to wake up in terms of get E-mails checked then off to go to lidl with mum, since she had a sort of busy day planned and actually it was more relaxing for me to help her and to be fair, my body only was feeling the dead arm and some minor sharps of pain but my body does that sometimes.
But lidl was not as busy as others the traffic was getting slightly busy, so we walked in and got masks on, the shelves were getting low but we got various bits from the beef street food, the beef in black and even some things like the deserts which are lush too. But then it was time to leave and we spent about £55 and got the things packed up to 2 bags.
Then we got home and unloaded and it was then time to prepare to go to the granparents. Which we got there and the arm was still a bit sore and then it was to fix a doro which was dropped in a glass of water but it means having to get that sent back, but then it was to help mum cook and prepare lunch since grandad likes his fry ups on days mum goes and visits them. Which I did mess one egg up but also frying sliced ham works really well too.
The fry up I helped cook which included fried bread and even mushrooms too
Then it was more chatter about the past and also when my nan is showing alot of signs of dementia But then it was a nice vinetta for desert as well as chocolate slices. But then it was more chatter and more vibes and helping of some choices such as a driveway and tidying up.
Eventually it was 2:30 and we were on our way home, which the next plan was to get rosie for a walk which we both went to drive her to the leat which was around the 3:20pm mark , which always is nice for her to get a bit of proud trotting in the leat, I kid you not, even when its shallow, she trots like horse when the ball is in her mouth. Which we then walked for about 30 minutes in the heat and then we got our way home around the near 4pm mark since mum had some other appointments for her glasses later on.
But then it was time to relax to finish typing this up and also have that black bean with rice, and garlic pizza bread (No cheese) and then it was to listen to music and then more typing this up while watching the ladies road race for a bit before a bath, that was no to mention having a haircut beforehand which mum said she might get me some extra hair dye for another time due to the best time to dye it is after a hair cut
The cat and dog near each other when having the hair cut
The black bean sauce with the potato lattices
Day 2 after the vaccine:
From the sounds of it, it seems like I should be all ok and feel mostly back to normal, especially when typing this up while watching kids shows, ever since the anxiety the past few days, even from last week, Kids shows have been helping a far bit, maybe its me regressing to watch stuff I never got chance to watch when i was younger but maybe not sure. Heck I still have MLP to binge on netflix in September as well...
But waking up with no numb arm was a first improvement, but it was then the plan to get the vlog up, But waking up after a nice chat was good, then to start the day with another smoothie after walking Rosie. But then it gets annoying as I couldn't import the footage to the laptop from the Phone, no idea why until it was a missing plugins that caused it. It was a bit of a annoying delay in itself, then dad was a bit annoyed since he left his van window open and it was peeing with Rain.
But later on it was 12pm and time to get some chores done after a tortilla chorizo which was nice but later felt a bit odd as it were. But it was watching the Olympics at the same time, it was diving if i recall.
But then it was finishing the vlog editing by about midnight, sure my hormones were kicking in but it got done and then it was uploading it while sleeping. But it was then to be the first day back at work this week.
The 3rd day after vaccination :
So then it was the next day, it was better then I thought, I woke up and got to work about the 9:30 mark and then When it was things to prepare for and opening up, which then it was slower day Than I thought, sure there were a few customers in and also more chats but the phone was quiet, in the end the system I use for the phone did not turn itself off from the booking off I've put on that so I could not get stressed, but loads called in the end and I'll have to get back to them tomorrow or if they call again. A customer did give me a flapjack lemon drizzle.
The flapjack,
It was filling and after more helping with a customer, it was time to go to a visit someone booked up with me from Wednesday, which I ran to his, now the hmm of this is as I was running to theirs, I noticed it was some pains on my chest or like it was actually harder to breath a little bit, which I got there and left after 15 minutes since he fixed the issue before I got there. But then it was more running to Tesco and there was some bits but it was busy. But then it was a fair bit of last bits in Lidl I got from the Fajita Kits to Garlic Pizza Bread and even chilli burgers are really good too, with the discounts on the frozen fruit, it total came to £11.80.
The mix of shopping for £11.08
Then it was a run home in the dry and then to have a nice Chicken curry for tea but there were some extra from the Cajun rice to the even onions from a chicken pasta salad. But it was nice and when checking voicemails, one had to left that just made me feel like.......ugh.
The chicken curry with the cajun rice and other bits
But then it was time to walk Rosie and it was still a little bit of a dry spell. But I felt a wheezy and tight as I was walking, also the bpm was 141 which is slightly higher than other walks before the jab but has been that high before. But it was nice since there was a deer on the other side of the field and he galloped as normal. Then it was time to get home to get this post finished off while watching films there is a still shortness in breath but water should help me get through it.
The Conclusion:
So its looking like seems might be feeling like a quick blip and maybe there are consequences of the choices I've had but it means for now, its time to head to normal life and see how things go, but it then heads to the other choices to make for the time being. Will my body handle it is the question. but that will be for time to tell.
Well, march has had a nasty start to it and well, it causes those moments where things are going to feel like a crash will happen, things collide. But there was time to also reflect on the current realisations of the world and even how we can change and adapt in more ways. But for now it has to be to catchup with those days.
March:
Well after the previous blogpost, it was time to go back to work, since Customers were back on the swing with the customers, the best thing is that the weather was getting better, but it was also the up and coming risk that soon, consoles were going to be abound, especially as the chance for being able to start getting videos up since both my parents were staying at my nans. Since as of this, grandad sadly hurt is back and was unable to move for almost 2 weeks (only this past week when typing, this, has he started to slowly walk).
But it makes the sense of using this for the best time to really start being productive, but sadly even that can be tricky at times, especially wit the massive stress of having to help a friend out for £10 and that fucked up a payment for the glasses which is maybe why the direct debit failed idk. Especially that day i did not get home until 9:40 pm and even with having to move desks in and extra visits.
Gfuel I needed to start the day off, especially as it was 11 hours
A desk I got for free
A Late night snack of chicken noodle soup.
But then it was nice to get the extra parts done. Which was to get some plans out of the way with having to work and do some chores online, Rosie was getting demanding for walks tooo. Since dad was off and on, it was hard to know what to plan. The weather was just amazing and even with the strong wid
The field in the lush haze
It was also good to try to make lefover food, like sweet and sour chicken with spring rolls in the oven for a change which worked out really nicely. The Pasty was a massive one my sister gave my mum and it was nice too.
The mix of pasty, spring rolls and sweet and sour
Then it was to have a late night meal while getting more things sorted, with my motivation was lowering and maybe it was the hindsight of what's to come or the fact that working is getting exhausting, not even online, but that was the good thing with using the sandwich maker./
The bacon sandwich,
Now that was out of the way, it was time to also start a new project which was to use Opencore on the PC I built for the tutorial, which actually I managed to get it done but it was quite mind tanking as well as the fact my dad was here until a last minute call which means it had rushed timed to myself. Luckily i didn't have to be in the shop until the end of the week, due to consoles arriving then.
This was also the time the new hard drive board arrived, sadly that did not show all of the files so a bios solder swap will be the plan eventually. But for now it was just to get that bit right and well online job had to stop since the real life was the plan here. The night was quite good.
The night in blurred
Rosie and Finley
The special pancake
The hard drive board changed
But as this progressed it was soon time to get back to work, Time to reflect and also a goal on my mind but hopefully soon that was to be amended and start to show the skills to get back to living a goal. But it was also the time to learn the light broke and without power for actually 1 hour and 30 minutes or so. But eventually 8:30pm and it was back up, Dad just slept but for me it was more playing Railway Empire using that UK map, but getting the controls is not as easy as I thought.
The light and power cuts out.
But then it was that choice of waiting in a peace and then to wait for the weekend since the PS5s were to be sold and also 2 laptops are on the way as well, work was busy in that way and it was getting to be the first time to get a few bits and minus a few more visit, it was time to look obese to stash all of the shopping in my jumper and rucksack while on the bike, to make the most of a bit extra money for shopping.
The shopping in lidl
Then I got back, as i was running home, i got a text from the bank work uses and mentioned a £300 charge in Sainsburys, So naturally I replied N and heard nothing until later on. I was having more ranting and talking to myself which I've realised that has happened to me a fair bit lately too. The sunsets are soo good.
The golden sun
The glow above the town
A Darker sunset
Then as i was cooking tea, I got a call from that bank regarding the text earlier, So it means that i was having to sort that bit out, Which the call hung up and no word from them since, which means that work is more complicated from the reduction, and it means the end of easy way to pays bills. But it was a biit of mess the frying of the chicken and mushroom pasta.
The chicken and the mushroom
Then it was time to start to plan for getting videos up, time to myself was coming over which made it easier to finally get time to, sure some of the deliveries arrived like the Glasses and the Ring light, which was finally the time to get them reviewed.
First up was the glasses: Now this was great to film but sadly the money spent on them was quite a disaster and me and the seller did argue after me following her advice as well. But they do pack some better quality than other types and well even with the double charging, the value is reasonable for older tech anyway.
The box
The glasses on with the UV lenses
With the normal lenses
Portrait Selfies when dogwalking
A wider selfie
The quality of the camera
Now that day i had to go to work due to waiting for someone to pickup a PS5 which actually they didn't even bother to turn up, so another customer went to go for it in the end, so that was for the next week, But it was a good way to be able to take footage with it and see how it goes for a sort of a day in the life.
The river on the way to work
Which luckily it did help me get the chance to be able to type the review post up quite quickly, but as for video editing, it did take 2 days longer than I wanted it to be, but things soon were to creep up on me. Sometimes the best way to cope is to just play PS1 light gun games on the toilet using an emulator on my phone such as ePSXe. Which i was to find out that a lot of my time was wasted due to thoughts causing stress in my mind. But its soo good to enjoy those type of games on the phone due to the the touch screen.
But the video editing for the glasses was exhausting, but it was also the time of the #harrymeganinterview and oh my god that was a lot of dish served and that tea was up until 3am. But it just shows how much of a system is fucked, I mean it really does and this was going to be a week of realising other sections of the society we live in is going to be affected much more. Plus it was also again the second time this year I had a bit of non milk inside coffee to keep me getting it done, it did not help since feelings via music and the interview twitter commentary.
It looks to be #AbolishTheMonarchy and yes I was up reading the reactions live from that interview while video editing until 3am last night and my god it was a big clear reminder of how a system works so backwardly
But non the less, work had to get involved and it was to finally sell the last PS5 and also order some bits from suppliers and its causing issue to even pay due that card, which just adds more stress. Especially as having to deliver a device then return later on to get another device to then deliver which was for end of this week, well supposed to be.
But as there was signs of progress for my family with a somewhat normal return, it was sometimes learning about things and new realisations which could mean a lot of downward spiral and that was causing a hold up, this time of year can be a odd one normally but this year it hit hard and questions my own maybe sanity, its also where I've started to bring things up to myself about it and even make mistakes such as get a quote from a life insurance ad that tom.co.uk was spamming on my Facebook feed (which is supposed to be for dads) and then it was that daunting conversation of spending £25 p/m (up to) for both life insurance and a critical illness cover that was only to last until I'm 70, even as a almost 30 year old straight edge incel, like actually the chap was fair but I could tell he was slightly wanting to sign me up but I explained about my lack of tolerance for insurance companies. But we ended the call eventually.
I found out today that even a 28 year old that's never smoked, never been drunk and never had sex will still have a critical illness of £15 per month up to 70 years old which only pays out £30,000 then life insurance of £10 a month on top. Which again only pays out £57k if I die
Yes for some that is very good value but for me, the do i spend £7,000+ over 30 years on a basis to maybe get up to £30,000 if i get a critical illness, the MAYBE is the key.
(which is another reason that I do not feel ready to drive and I've had that stressful argument with myself and pressure about it last summer) and sometimes those anxious moments make bad choices and decisions. Like when i ended up applying for NHS therapy but did not proceed further when a reply required me to have a phone call about it, and I never used better help since the £150 i didn't feel right to spend .
That kinda says to me and proves to me insurance is just a set of companies and sector I want to ignore and never deal with, but then again I'll have no choice but to deal with them in future and it's going to be a fucking nightmare
As this was going on it turns out both parents have had the AZ vaccine, my dad did have a num arm and no sider effects, but my mum was wiped out and felt crap on the day after and yes, it can be common for this to happen BUT with the luck I get it means it will cause damage to the business but the only thing I felt safer is to have the PFizer vaccine when its available but there is a chance there is a just get given one which could cause that day or even WEEK if it happens, which since there is no responsibility for any side effect if it occurs, it basically fucks things up and either publicly announce the business will close due to vaccine side effect for x days (which is pretty much the easy way out but could cause backlash and lose reputation, maybe more than refusing customers that could pretty much cause the business to be breaching rules like the FALSE report of the place being open back in Nov 2020) or wait until the vaccine that I have been told that has caused no side effects is in stock locally or in the mass vaccination which should then make it easier to continue as normal. Also Bonus points that i could have the AZ vaccine after cycling to the place then lose control of the bike and crash/faint and then be in hospital so then causes more damage than its worth, Yes I could take a bus but remember that time I nearly collapsed/fainted when on a bus due to an energy drink, that could happen with any vaccine too...
Also my mum had the vaccine and feels I'll after, another period that I've got to make sure it's not the AZ one I have or I have to make sure to plan to close work for 2 days due to the AZ, I think and know it's for to be Pfizer to go for , even if it means waiting until August
But this was when that realisation hit me of so many things, such as that burning feeling up to 10 minutes after peeing to even the fact that pants get damp day in, day out, even if I'm not leaving the house, okay maybe its me being lazier that causes it, despite some of those days being days I'm cycling and doing visits for up to 12 hours, sometimes its the feelings I'm getting to try to work harder to make more money on a personal level but the real life work for the business butts in. Maybe this is to do with the Phimosis and well the fact I've still not sorted things out down there due to the lack of needing to, but will I ever just go and ask the right questions, sure the GP just said its better to leave it like it is than to get a circumcision but also Gracie said I really need to pester to try to get the NHS to sort it.
Now then, With the soon to be anxiety, it was making me feel a bit edged out and that was causing distractions like oooh a new retro TMNT game, okay yes it did help with just me by myself to talk about these feelings and try to motivate myself and well it was time to, but this was shortly after the time that only 2 weeks ago, a carport was built and fitted via a local firm and well this was going to be a tricky time, plus Rosie wanted food and that meant she was getting snacks and might have eaten too many gravy bones to save her from needing to eat dentastix more than the 2 she's had already. The Cats food she was eating as well.
I managed to have both of them quiet and sleeping sort of for when it was time to get the Ring light review started. This was not bad to film but well it has it moments with Rosie trying to distract me, Now this was delayed in editing as well, but the ring light performed better than I was expecting in most cases.
The ring lights
It is quite tall in the end
Warm light selfies
Normal light selfies
That cool light.
That night the wind was chaotic and typing the blogpost up didn't go as nice as I wanted it too, sadly the dog was being needy and wanting toilet and walkies and eating glass, but the carport pvc was actually banging the sides and the poles were loose which in the morning, it caused frustration and also made me feel no point to bother to go to the shop. So I didn't and aimed to get the blogpost finished as well as the start of the video editing in-between chores.
when the brtitsh wind last night caused a carport to detach and made the dog and cat not finally sleep until 3am this morning, then having to rush to get up to fix it, fuck
But this was also bad news that one of my friends from work had passed away, she was a lovely customer that said and felt like I was a son to her and even when lockdown started last year, I still made effect to make sure sure was ok but her illness sadly caused more pain overtime and even back in November, I went to bring flowers to her care home. She knew some truths I've not shared for a long time, maybe even ever, there was a level of trust and the last time I saw her was when I was dealing with the risk of having to move away which means further running to and from work which could end up being dangerous but also exhausting, so far that never happened. But it was the last thing me and her talked about, she did call me on the mobile a few times by accident, But the lockdown 2 and 3 means we still cant and well, its now too late. This was also time to go to work and have jeans off while video editing and turn the blanket as well as making bagel sandwiches too.
The hoodie used as a leg blanket
The bagel, crisps and the cold baked beans from a few weeks ago not used .
So that was on my mind and well it was another time to keep working, but The UK was going to be shocked from what was really going to appear, With Sarah sadly murdered and kidnapped from a police officer. Listening and mourning was going to be important to learn from this, especially from people close to you and also my actions in the past have been of the 97% which all I can say is i've got a lot to learn and in a way, changed attitudes in small stages.
Now this is on the top of the fact that I then managed to get another video filmed, which was the nice tutorial of the cooking of crispy seaweed which was lush too. Since the editing for this was a bit shorter and did not cut out due to the laptop running out of storage for me which is a pain in the ass for the most part. Rosie was distracted while the carport was being fixed too after I left work early but missed a UPS delivery because of that .
Rosie n a derp state
The crispy seaweed with the extras
Once this was done. it was time to get the chores done with Dad on Saturday , and that meant a late shopping for mothers day as well as maybe cooking something for lunch that day as well. This was the also time to get ah I needed and also small extras for me and Rosie too. Plus it was so nice to have a ham, mayo and onion toasted sandwich as well. But t was starting to show and crask with how the talking to myself was becoming more louder and more stressful too.
The shopping in Tesco including the mother days presents
More shopping in Lidl
Then it was later on and I had a message to have me travel for a visit on that day , so it was time to get that done then it was a 3 hour visit which was a PC build and the windows to sort out from that board change. Eventually I was finally home after that and with call from family being worried due to this emergency of work.
Thw toasted sandwches for that lunch
Cycling in the dusk and dark sunset
Then it was finally mothers day which was the case to finally have a bit of family time to also learn another side of family too, which as how stubborn my nan can be, but first after getting up and the chores done, My sister picked me up about 11:30 and we chatted and caught up on some topics . This was while having to pickup a special afternoon tea kit from a bakery near my work for £28.00. Eventually we got to nans and unloaded and were chatting. Then to was time to have mixes of mini buffet like food.
Then goody bag to take with us,
The first plate of the Sunday afternoon tea .
After this it was chatting and having to do some chores like WIFI setup for google home and also the m1 key setup for the landline which worked fine, but eventually by 4pm it was time me and dad went home and this was where the conversation was getting quote negative such as how both might have to go to a home f he does not improve in that regard even though he is trying is his hardest to get going and she needs to be things vent when she's being laid back but also in her own world.
But then it was finally time to get some more work admin done due to the issues with the card then the final chance to finish this for the rest of the night and workout the stress of how direct debit is a nasty system and makes it uncertain on money and needs to be changed and the and in place to make these changes in work soon and even for some home bills on my end .
But that was it and well its time to continue things and hopefully work for a bonus on the online work, see you soon
